bitter//sweet

The original title for this project was Blackness in Shades of Bittersweet. It came to me at a time when I was trying to articulate for myself the joy and pride I feel as a Black person and how these feelings exist in tandem with those of exhaustion, and in the darker moments, hopelessness. As I grappled with how best to articulate this sensation, a single word continued to emerge and reemerge to color my thoughts: bittersweet. 

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Bitter like kola nuts, neem, and Allafia Bitters. Like thrice-mended sweaters, dirt roads, and hand-me-downs. The bitter process of healing and the sacrifices that thread the fabric of love, inspiring moments of warmth and resourcefulness. Reminders that we often grow from discomfort. 

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And aching sweetness too. Sweet like palm wine and hugs tight enough to squeeze the breath from your lungs. Things to swell your stomach and heart like camel humps of joy; moon-drunk nights, towering tales, and belly laughs.

Both “bitter” and “sweet” are words that correctly shade my experience of Blackness, but together they create a new, paradoxical idea that is somehow more real than the singular dimensions their old forms represent. I fell in love with the binary and the balance of the word, reminding me how binaries create each other, representing connection rather than separation.